I was so busy at work one day that when my son called I told him I'd call him right back. Two hours later I remembered. I called him--my son is just 8 years old--and he said "nevermind, Dad, I forget what I wanted." But I was pretty sure he hadn't forgotten.
It was so strange to hear his voice so distant. I recognized that I hadn't been there when he wanted me for something. You can't always be there as a parent, but this time I somehow decided I didn't even have time to listen to what he wanted first.
Who knows, maybe it was something I could have helped with or answered in just 30 seconds. Now I'll never know. I realized that day that it was my ego, my self-absorption at work. Even though much of the work I do is to try to get my son the things he'll need, from food to college tuition down the road, that won't mean much if we let the moments we might connect pass by without taking advantage. The very next day I told myself to leave my ego behind. I took more deep breaths. And it didn't just work out for my son and my family, it was better for my work, too. I felt better and you know what? Feeling better was actually pretty good for my ego too. I'd just been feeding it all wrong.
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